Teenager - Friend or Foe?

It’s weird how we feel about growing up. We look back at everything we did in childhood and through our teen years with great fondness. However, we don’t like to see our children growing up. We love those years when they had chubby cheeks and even the ones when their smile was filled with gaps. We definitely don’t like the years where every question is answered with a mumble beneath the breath or the ones when missed calls start happening, a little too often.
A child’s intellect and emotional balance grow with each passing year. Undeniably it’s the parent who leads the child through its first steps, first school, first fight and first love. During the transition between childhood and adulthood, we find the child finding it increasingly difficult to verbalize or display emotions. This is because the child becomes increasingly aware of the world and other relationships outside the family that can be very compelling sometimes.
What are the mistakes parents do with a teenager at home? Most teens don’t like elaborate display of affection by the parent or grandparent in the midst of peers or outside the home. A parent should not take offence when a child suggests toning down these overtures. It simply means, “Please treat me with the dignity of a comrade and a friend. The baby that was in diapers is not me anymore.” Trust also goes a long way. Certain privileges could be allowed. If your teenager wants a mobile to keep in touch with you, it would be better to analyze the situation with the child to see if it really warrants it. If not a little cash can be provided to help them make calls in an emergency. Not wanting to know every teeny bit of detail about their day or friends assures them of your complete trust in the freedom you have given them. This creates a sense of responsibility to do the thing that is morally correct. It’s important to step back but how does one reprimand without rubbing it in? Staying objective and tackling only the issue without throwing accusations at the personality or friends of the child helps get the point across. Leading by example is important. Actions speak loudest when there is a teen watching your every move. A lecture on not acquiring bad habits will never work. As adults we have to be able to show them self control and discipline in our own selves. Principles and morals are picked up only from home. A pat on the back goes a long way. Praising them for their plus points and helping them figure out their weaknesses is important. Negative criticism could bring about terrible rebellion. Honing a hobby or a skill from childhood also helps drive boredom away. Every teenager wants to try something new everyday. Most young adults pick up a habit forming addiction simply out of boredom. Keeping the novelty going on a daily basis is hard work for any parent especially those who work 24/7.
If we look back at pictures of ourselves from our teen years, we would all find a certain glow on our faces. That comes from having a lot of joie de vivre. We all have pressures at every stage in our lives. As children it could be the pressures of learning something before our friends do. As young adults it’s a lot of peer pressure, study pressure and parent pressure. However, it’s only as adults that we lose the skip in our step and the smile in our eyes. Living life lightly at any age is the key to being your child’s friend through the transition years. Floating is something we teach by letting go and letting them live their dreams.
Being available for your child is not a choice anymore. It is imperative that parents stop instructing and start listening to what their child actually wants to express. This world becomes a better place everyday when there is someone who really cares!!