Listening to your child

A friend of mine recently found out that her child was being abused by their maid. She told me that her son’s sudden curiosity about his sexual organs in public was brushed off as another way of irritating and embarrassing her. This set me thinking on this very taboo but very prevalent matter.

As parents, we often ignore the voices of children as patience wears thin with their everyday antics. There is also a world of make believe that children between the ages of 4-8 live in. So how do we fine tune ourselves beyond the static to look deep into our children? The culprit very often is the amount of time we spend with them. Children under emotional stress are very often distracted from creative and constructive work, find it hard to concentrate and can become reclusive or react violently to very small issues. Children do mention vague things in passing. A child might typically say, “Aunty/Uncle asked me to show my belly button and they tickled me. I told them to stop but they went on doing it.” Blunt honesty is something a very young child will have. An unspoilt mind cannot keep a secret. A child will not lie about his feelings or pain. It is also wrong for a parent to feel ashamed about abuse. Victimizing your child with shame is the worst thing to instill in an impressionist mind. Child abuse is punishable by law with serious consequences for the offender. A child’s reputation can never be tarnished by injustice. It is important that parents realize this fact. Sweeping a crime under the carpet only makes us responsible for aiding and abetting criminals. Seeking the help of a child counselor or an NGO working for the welfare of children if confronted with abuse will definitely help in taking the right steps towards curbing this rising menace in this country.

Next time you dream of securing your child’s future with good education and financial security, do consider his or her emotional well being.