What I have learnt from children

Its funny how we want to be so not 12 going on 13 when we find our first crush( or when our first crush finds us). We want to get out of our ugly pupas and become beautiful butterflies. We consciously evolve our language skills in order to be taken seriously, dress in colours and clothes that can pass us for a college goer at 16....with years of trying to sound serious we lose our fun side seriously.
I have always been amazed about the way adults and children smile in photographs? The difference always lies in their eyes. We can always argue this point as adults take in so many things in life and children dont have the brunt of life in their faces. As I see it, there's just this one thing - the ability to smile from your heart irrespective of where you are, who is with you, what troubles you and what is left undone. Children have that ability to laugh with gay abandon even in the middle of tears and reprimand. It comes from inner peace and the ability to love oneself with all you have in you.
In the mundanity and humdrum of lives filled with something to do always, learning to stop once in a while and smile is not such a bad thing. There are those small joys of life that we all have as children, and as teenagers. Teaching our children to have fun while they remain in responsibility is a very good thing in life. The only way they can learn not to take themselves too seriously is from us and through us.
Keeping the child in me alive and well is serious work. It takes constant effort to stay chin up and live wholly everyday. It takes a constant cultivation of a right attitude. It takes brute determination on bad days look above the circumstances of the day and only look forward to the morrow's blue skies.
Life is all about the journey not the destination. Most of us may never be movers or shakers but we can always move and groove even with two left feet. Life is nothing but love, laughter and letting go of ego. So smile cos you never know who is falling for it ;)

Listening to your child

A friend of mine recently found out that her child was being abused by their maid. She told me that her son’s sudden curiosity about his sexual organs in public was brushed off as another way of irritating and embarrassing her. This set me thinking on this very taboo but very prevalent matter.

As parents, we often ignore the voices of children as patience wears thin with their everyday antics. There is also a world of make believe that children between the ages of 4-8 live in. So how do we fine tune ourselves beyond the static to look deep into our children? The culprit very often is the amount of time we spend with them. Children under emotional stress are very often distracted from creative and constructive work, find it hard to concentrate and can become reclusive or react violently to very small issues. Children do mention vague things in passing. A child might typically say, “Aunty/Uncle asked me to show my belly button and they tickled me. I told them to stop but they went on doing it.” Blunt honesty is something a very young child will have. An unspoilt mind cannot keep a secret. A child will not lie about his feelings or pain. It is also wrong for a parent to feel ashamed about abuse. Victimizing your child with shame is the worst thing to instill in an impressionist mind. Child abuse is punishable by law with serious consequences for the offender. A child’s reputation can never be tarnished by injustice. It is important that parents realize this fact. Sweeping a crime under the carpet only makes us responsible for aiding and abetting criminals. Seeking the help of a child counselor or an NGO working for the welfare of children if confronted with abuse will definitely help in taking the right steps towards curbing this rising menace in this country.

Next time you dream of securing your child’s future with good education and financial security, do consider his or her emotional well being.