Paying the price for love

I was a pre-teen when I first read the story of the nightingale who gave up its life, in the crossfire of love between a young boy and a girl. The story goes, 'A young man loved a girl very much. This girl had one condition to accept his love. He had to get her a red rose in the deepest shade of red. The deeper the shade, the stronger his love for her. A nightingale who had never found love was perched on a rose bush saw the scene that transpired in front of her eyes and vowed to help him, even though the young man didn't know the nightingale. The rose bush that was the nightingale's hearth loved her very much. The rose bush told her there is only one thing possible to bloom a red rose in that season of white roses. The nightingale had to sing the sweetest song she could with her breast pierced against a thorn of the rose bush at midnight till dawn. The nightingale decided to sacrifice her life and sang the sweetest song she had ever sung that night about the glory of love with her breast pressed firmly but surely against that piercing thorn. At dawn, when all her blood had drained from her body, the most beautiful red rose bloomed in the deepest scarlet. She gazed upon the red rose before she gave up her life in the arms of her rose bush. A few hours later, the worried, pensive young man passed by. He looked at the rose bush and saw the most beautiful rose that he had ever seen. The young man was overjoyed and plucked the rose. A few minutes later, he saw his love coming towards him with her arm around the Mayor's son. He ran to her and presented her with the rose of deepest scarlet. She looked at him with eyes dripping in sarcasm and said, 'Flowers don't make a girl's best friend, diamonds do.' The young man was livid and threw the rose down on the cobble stoned pathway. He walked away without looking back. A horse-cart came clattering down the path and trampled the rose. The rose bush that saw all this was heart broken for the loss of his nightingale who gave up her life to save the young man's love. It withered and died that very day.'
There are many lessons to learn about love from this story. The rose bush never once told the nightingale when she was alive that he loved her very much. If only it had, the nightingale would have been happy to bask in the love of the rose bush for her, than give up her life for another's crush. The nightingale could have waited for love to happen and move her in her own life, than sacrifice her life for another's so called "love". The young man should have realised that you cant do anything that would move someone to fall in love with you. It's simple either we love someone or we dont. The young woman valued wealth over love. Such love is transcient and lasts as long as fortunes do.
There is no perfect love in this world and every heart is but a rose on a cobble stoned pathway. Yet even in this bleak winter called life, love is the spring that brings forth new life in every soul. Bruised and battered we may be, but we must dare to love.

Cupcakes and coffee

I asked a friend recently how she would like to celebrate. She said, definitely with "death by chocolate cake" and champagne. I asked myself this, is life that much of a celebration? If it is not, shouldn't it be?
The reality however is, I cant even eat three wedges of "death by chocolate" cake. Neither can I finish a bottle of bubbly. So why do all the good moments of life have to be sickeningly sweet? We celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, promotions, births, deaths, new homes and what have you. These are milestones in life but don't necessarily have to touch us in a place called our soul. Do we ever celebrate ourselves? Do we ever celebrate the stupid grin we woke up with. Do we ever celebrate the smell of rain?

The things that put a smile deep in our soul are the simple things of life. They stem from a very simple fact - All human beings are capable of love, send out love and expect an equal measure in return. Whenever we send that love out and it returns back in equal measure, now i.e a celebration of life as we know it.
Its like cupcakes and coffee. Light, refreshing, tasty and wholesome.

That kind of love is definitely out there. Dont die with a super rich chocolate cake or with too much bubbly. Just find your flavour of cupcake and coffee. They are both simple foods, can be found in endless combinations and taste great in all flavours. :-)

What I have learnt from children

Its funny how we want to be so not 12 going on 13 when we find our first crush( or when our first crush finds us). We want to get out of our ugly pupas and become beautiful butterflies. We consciously evolve our language skills in order to be taken seriously, dress in colours and clothes that can pass us for a college goer at 16....with years of trying to sound serious we lose our fun side seriously.
I have always been amazed about the way adults and children smile in photographs? The difference always lies in their eyes. We can always argue this point as adults take in so many things in life and children dont have the brunt of life in their faces. As I see it, there's just this one thing - the ability to smile from your heart irrespective of where you are, who is with you, what troubles you and what is left undone. Children have that ability to laugh with gay abandon even in the middle of tears and reprimand. It comes from inner peace and the ability to love oneself with all you have in you.
In the mundanity and humdrum of lives filled with something to do always, learning to stop once in a while and smile is not such a bad thing. There are those small joys of life that we all have as children, and as teenagers. Teaching our children to have fun while they remain in responsibility is a very good thing in life. The only way they can learn not to take themselves too seriously is from us and through us.
Keeping the child in me alive and well is serious work. It takes constant effort to stay chin up and live wholly everyday. It takes a constant cultivation of a right attitude. It takes brute determination on bad days look above the circumstances of the day and only look forward to the morrow's blue skies.
Life is all about the journey not the destination. Most of us may never be movers or shakers but we can always move and groove even with two left feet. Life is nothing but love, laughter and letting go of ego. So smile cos you never know who is falling for it ;)

Crazy little thing called Love!!!

It doesn’t take genius to figure out when you’re in love. When the butterflies have settled down and the love train chugs off, trouble is but a trifle away. Most love birds decide to take it a notch higher by getting married.
Marriage is not a bed of roses and that is one of the truest statements down the ages. Marriage is built on two founding pillars - love and trust. If love dies, trust dies with it. The vice versa is also true. Your spouse has to be a friend first, a compelling love and the reason that makes tomorrow worthwhile. It’s difficult to keep the fire burning through the entire span of a marriage. Pressures of work, children, extended family, health conditions and constant friction on mundane issues bring in a gap. It is easy to carry on living a lie but it is detrimental to physical and emotional well being. Some people suffer from clinical depression when boredom, intense sadness, helplessness or sheer disappointment set in. In this gloomy picture what makes love shine through rose tinted glasses?
Man is a gregarious animal as we all know. Scientifically being in love is a healthy thing. It improves circulation, boosts emotional well being, which in turn, improves immunity. It leaves one with a smile on your face and pushes aging a little further down the road. It makes your heart stronger and your blood pressure improves. We all know that science doesn't shape our lives and decisions do. Just as much as we would like to see our careers grow with constant and consistent hard work, marriage too needs constant and consistent effort. It is difficult to stay anchored in everyday life with emotional stress. Emotional stress ruins everything and translates itself in direct and indirect ways into various areas of our life. Our beings groan when we come in contact with our families, friends and even our professions. Restlessness comes in once disappointment leaves. The result – extra marital affairs in reality or fantasy.
The most common complaint in any relationship is acceptance. Expecting and forming a framework, for the person to fit in, is wrong. When we were shown objects as children we never argued that a square was a circle. The same rule applies. Accepting a person unconditionally having no expectations is what unconditional love chooses to achieve. At the same time, no one can live with a sadist, cheat or a cold person eternally in perfect peace. We need to be our own critic. Constant self examination into the inner man is necessary. Keeping arguments objective is necessary too. Constant emotional friction leads to nowhere and its better to part company than be compelled to irrational decisions.
Love is like dew on a rose. It disappears when the sun beats down on it. It falls to the ground when shaken up. It happens to everyone without reason. Marriage is a different ball game. Falling in love is as easy as breathing. Marry someone you cant live without not someone you can live with. To keep a fire burning, we add more fuel. Dont let your egos fizzle the spark out. The bubble needn't burst, if your head rules your emotions. Dream, dare and do fall in love. It's a whole new world!

Vagaries of Love

This is a poem I wrote just before I tied the knot. I had the privilege of choosing my life partner and joined the bandwagon which salutes the metrosexual male. In these years I have seen marriages of many friends broken because of irrepairable differences. Incompatibility is not a fashion statement or a trend people can afford to live with. Our parents and grandparents were not perfect but they took the time and effort to solve differences of opinion and one partner ate humble pie. Letting go means letting ego go. "I love you" and "I am sorry" are just three words but it brings sunshine in everytime it is said. "I hate you" and "we are divorced" are three words too. Incompatability has no place in the smile of our children. Every child has a right to his innocence and a niche called a home. To all my friends on the threshold of marriage I say this, learn gardening. A marriage works like a healthy garden. Sunshine smile Water down anger Weed out doubt and suspicion and you will have a robust crop of wedding anniversaries.

Many a dream of love’s delights,
Many a woe follows sleepless nights.
Many a joy in a light heart,
Many a sorrow in a longing heart.

Days spent looking forward to every conversation.
Nights, awake in heartsickening depression.
Coffee’s cold; busy gazing into her eyes?
Marriages broken and trust belied.

Cupid strikes and love happens,
Time to look onto guidance from heaven.
Does love always mean discord and strife?
Divorces ending chapters called husbands and wives?

Life is more than just moonlit walks.
It’s more likely to be, not so pleasant talks.
The crux of it all lies in simply this,
Marriages can be turmoil or plain bliss.

Make it or break it, depends on you.
Look at the person you love, every day, anew.
Learn to be forbearing and forgiving.
Your marriage will be an eternal blessing.